Or: Who I’d like to do on my summer vacation.
I’ve been thinking about my kind of boy lately. The really tall, really skinny boys that are all pale and pretty and such. The running joke growing up was that I had a fetish for recreating the illustrations to the Jack Sprat poem.
“Jack Sprat could eat no fat/His wife could eat no lean/so betwix the both of them/they licked the platter clean”
The illustration, if there is one, usually shows…well, me, and 90% of the guy’s I’ve dated. A short, fat chick and a tall scrawny guy.
I’m well aware of the fact that the guys I go gaga for are outside the norm of what ‘attractive’ men are supposed to look like.
Yeah, I spent my share of time ogling the big muscly guys in the WWE too, but that was mostly eye candy. What do I want with a man who could crush my head like a walnut between his thighs? Anyway, my tastes there were weird too, and ran towards the more ‘alternative’ guys like Gangrel (yum, fangs!) and Raven (purr…and god was it hot watching him take all that crazy shit during ECW). And the Undertaker, of course. He’s like, 6′6”, and he’s got pretty ink and long red hair, and I swear to god, at my Sweet 16, his photo was on my cake. (My Sweet 16 was at WWF New York.)
But in my adult years, my mature taste in male aesthetics run towards guys like Sebastian and Maymay.
Slim, tall, pale, pretty, and sometimes, with a hint of ‘angst’. (As a former goth kid, I do like the tortured goth boys.) Like Sebastian and his songs. Awwww.
I get annoyed, because now a days, I don’t seen enough of the sorts of boys I like. Hence, this post of links and photos. Of course, they’ll be more to come, as I find ‘em, but damnit, my boys deserve a big ole post of their own.
There are my boyfriends, of course. Mika, Damien, the Phelps Twins, Jonathan Rys Myers, and Mika.
Then there is my hot friend May, as you saw above, and Sebastian, who, alas, I have no photos of. Hm. I wonder if he’d let me take some photos for my…personal…collection. I should ask.
And now, some photos of the sort of boys I want to hump.
Oh Elijah Wood, Elijah Wood…I’ll tell you a secret. I started smoking cloves because he smoked cloves. I’m still secretly convinced that one day, I’ll go out on a date with Elijah Wood.
I don’t actually have much interest in Scott Weiland. But when I saw him in the Velvet Revolver video for “Slither”my jaw hit the floor.
I have a crush on Bob Geldof, but about 23 years ago. I liked him when Boomtown Rats were singing “I don’t like Mondays”
Now, for some pretty skinny boys from my collection.
I don’t know WHO this is, but I want to jump in his pants. Meow
Oh Davey Havok, you had me at ’suspenders’
Yum. Jeffree Star. How I wish I were a boy so I could get into his shorts!
Jeffree Star and GayGod making out. Yum Yum Yum.
11 responses so far ↓
1 Rona // Jan 11, 2008 at 2:02 am
Here here!
Rona’s last blog post..Whore for Context…
2 Wendy // Jan 11, 2008 at 2:11 am
Ah, its always good to know I’m not the only one. But goddamn, those scrawny boys are hot. Specially that one who I don’t know who he is, but should be in my pants.
3 MsBehavn // Jan 11, 2008 at 4:19 am
Ooooooh, another pretty, skinny white boy you can add to your list is Brian Molko, Wendy.
MsBehavn’s last blog post..Sneaky HNT
4 Wendy // Jan 11, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Ooooooh…..Yes please!
5 drew // Jan 15, 2008 at 6:57 am
I am that boy, I always have been that boy - all my life. I’m permanently skinny( I did try going to the gym for a couple of years but it made little difference)with long legs and wide hips and smooth skin. I’m good looking but a little older now ( I’ve started my forties - fuck!). I’m bisexual but what I’ve always wanted is a submissive relationship with a dominant woman. Something that would express the polymorphously perverse gender that I am.These blogs are a complete revelation to me, I never knew there were people who were so like me- ‘ a thousand tiny sexes’.
6 Wendy // Jan 15, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Drew, why oh why are you in the U.K.? So not fair! All I want are pretty skinny boys with long legs and smooth skin. *sigh*
7 Victor Alcazar // Jan 15, 2008 at 9:17 pm
I am… not this. :)
I am a tiny, tiny man. (Hell, either Sascha or Rona or even May can give you a good description.) I’m also much to yappy to do “tortured and angsty” well. I probably have good lips for pouting if I was any good at pouting.
I have a beef with Elijah Wood, but that is a personal issue. (Also, have you seen the pic of him with his mouth duct-taped shut, or was that ad campaign only in Canada?)
As for the Undertaker… that reminds me of a WWF memory. Diesel vs Bret Hart in a steel cage, and a bunch of us sitting around the bar watching the PPV (as we did back then). This must have been… 1995? Around then. Diesel gets in the cage, and leans in the corner, stretching his arms up and holding onto one of the bars. (It was one of those big blue bar style cages.)
The moment he does that, N____ puts her drink down and yells out “Dear God someone chain him to those bars!” and all the women (and some of the men) at the table explode in agreement.
Victor Alcazar’s last blog post..A fine weekend
8 Wendy // Jan 15, 2008 at 11:50 pm
Duct tape? Elijah Wood? I must find this photo.
Aaah, 1995 was a good year for pro wrestling. That was the year, during Wrestlemania, when Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon had a ladder match. Shawn was halfway up the ladder when Razor grabbed him by the back of the pants….and pulled them down.
And, for the record, while Diesel was never chained tot he bars, once Raven was handcuffed crucifix style to the cage during ECW. It was really hot, till he got whacked in the head with a chair. Chaining, yes. Chair? Not so much.
9 Victor Alcazar // Jan 17, 2008 at 2:34 am
Wendy, did you just tell me the story of Shawn mooning the world during the Wrestelmania X Ladder Match (THE LADDER MATCH!) as if I didn’t know what you are talking about?
Shawn was king of the mooners. Davey Boy Smith used to work a fair amount of mooning in sometimes, too, mind you - but back then Shawn actively looked for reasons to moon people.
And yes, Raven’s infamous crucifixion was a classic. (Ahh, the glory days of ECW.)
Victor Alcazar’s last blog post..Insidious Insecurity
10 Wendy // Jan 17, 2008 at 2:55 am
Victor, I think I’m in love.
And yes, ECW did used to rock the world. Stupid ECW on SciFi.. *grumbles* only good thing to come from that is that Kevin Thorn and C.W. Punk are hot.
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