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The Story Behind How I got a Diva Cup

January 15th, 2008 · 12 Comments

Review Coming to you at the end of my period this week.

This post brought to you by the letters T.M.I.

Sometimes, girls just need to talk about our periods, or at times, our ‘feminine hygiene products’ (On a side note, why are condoms nearly always in the feminine hygiene aisle? Srsly. I guess it makes sense, somehow. Did someone consciously go ‘ok, all this stuff has to do with cunts. We’ll put it all together. Yeah, condom’s and tampons. Perfect. Right next to the pregnancy tests. That won’t rub anyone with raging hormones the wrong way.)

Since I’m a girl, and I haven’t talked about it much here, I am now. This is your introduction to a post later this week, on my new DivaCup.

See, I actually got something I asked for specifically at Christmas.

I asked my mother to get me a Diva Cup.

See, every year, she gives us mom stuff in our stockings. Socks (which fucking rock), toothpaste, toothbrushes, chap stick, little things that we need and use. She tries deodorant, but always gets the wrong brand for one of the three of us (ex, I use Secret or Ban, UNSCENTED only. My sister Christine uses Secret or Ban, but with a scent. I don’t know what Josie uses. So one of us gets a ton of deodorant.)

She also gets us each underwear, which is not quite a fun or useful, for me at least, because she still buys me HUGE granny panties. Christine gets thongs, Josie gets the cute boy shorts she likes, but just because I like fairly conservative undies, I get granny panties? Bah! I just tell her to take me to the Avenue, so I can pick my own undies, and she can pay for ‘em if she wants.

The other thing she can’t ever choose well for us are tampons. Yep. My mother wraps up and puts boxes of tampons in our stockings. This is never good. You see, when it comes to stuff that goes in my vag that isn’t cock, I get uber uber picky. I mean, I’m picky about cock, but I’m *really* picky about tampons and stuff. I only use one brand. Playtex Gentle Glide, plastic applicator, *unscented*. Christine, while not a Playtex fanatic, like me, also understands that scents on tampons aren’t a good thing. If my pussy was supposed to smell like a garden, it would. I’ve also become very sensitive to scents. If I’m wearing a scented tampon, and I’m sitting, I can smell it, and I think everyone else can smell it, and that they must be thinking my crotch stinks. Honestly? The blood doesn’t smell bad. I mean, I’m sure it’s not great if you shove your face in it, but I’m not demanding my pussy be eaten when I’m on the rag.

So this year, I said “Listen, Mom, I know you always get us tampons in our stockings, right? But this year, I’d really you rather got me a Diva Cup for my stocking instead, since I want to try it out.”

So she went to the website, and Christmas morn, my dad had to sit and watch my sisters unwrap boxes of tampons, while I unwrapped some sort of plastic device that went in my cunt.

Why did I want a Diva Cup? Several reasons.

  • Tampons absorb, that’s how they work. They absorb every bit of moisture in your vagina, both blood, and your natural lube. I’ve pulled tampons out and felt SO dry, that I’d rather wait and go tamponless before having to shove another wad of dry cotton in there. I’m actually shivering thinking of it.
  • It’s re-usable. That appeals to two parts of me. The eco-friendly part that recycles, buys (some) organics, and uses my own canvas market bags for shopping, which is an awesome part of me, IMO, and the cheap part of me that goes “Dude, this thing can last for like, years. How much will I save on tampons?” Look how long well treated silicone dildos last. Same difference.
  • It can be left in overnight for up to 12 hours. It holds, according to the paperwork I have, 1 ounce of fluid. Considering the average flow is around 3-4 ounces, that’s pretty good.
  • Cleaning it is easy – between emptying it, you can wash it with soap and water. Since its silicone, you can boil it for 2-5 minutes, or use rubbing alcohol on it. They also have their own product, called Diva Wash
  • The idea of becoming a “full moon artist” sort of appeals to me.

So, I’ve been anxiously waiting for my period to try this baby out. I’ve actually been *excited* for once! So, soon we’ll have a review.

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Tags: Girls · broads · life · reviews

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