I want to thank everyone who sent me well wishes and good vibes after my biopsy – I hope you’ll all keep your fingers crossed for me that everything comes back ok!
I’m feeling much better now. The interview I had this morning called to reschedule, which was *fantastic* since I wanted to stay in bed, and I got to curl up with a book and doze a bit. Then I did some yoga, (yay, TiVo) which helped a ton. (Though it pissed off the cat.)
Yesterday, while I was I was waiting for the train back to the city after my appointment, and eating a bit of pound cake. When one is in pain, nothing beats a nice slice of butter pound cake. Some guy ran up to the barrier between the street and the train. He calls to me, and the first thing he says is not ‘Hello’ or ‘Hey, when is the next train coming?’ or any other sort of greeting. He says “Hey, are you seeing anyone?’
Not a promising start. Seriously guys? At least start with a greeting. I said yes, because I wanted him to go away. Instead, he says he needs my email address. He runs to his car to get pen and paper (I certainly wasn’t offering my pen or paper up), and I’m praying that the train will show up and get me the hell out of there. Of course it didn’t show. I’m not that lucky.
I never learn. I gave him my real email address, and I figured I’d never hear from him.
Oh no.
He sent me an email.
I’ve posted it to my tumblr for your enjoyment.
I feel like I ought to respond, but I can’t think of anything other than “EPIC FAIL”.
12 responses so far ↓
1 Curvaceous Dee // May 30, 2008 at 3:17 am
‘O-My-G’. Yikes!
Yes, I think Epic Fail about covers it. “id make you shake like a car
on bad gas”? Seriously? No!
xx Dee
Curvaceous Dees last blog post..Undressing HNT
2 Wendy // May 30, 2008 at 4:19 am
My dear, I couldn’t make that shit up. I couldn’t if I tried.
3 Katie // May 30, 2008 at 5:23 am
Ok, so I’ve never commented on here before but I do read you religiously. This, however, I have to comment on.
What the hell?! At first I thought he was going for some semi-rap, rhyming couplets effort, then realised that no, he was just lucky with some of the lines. Not that it would have made the blindest bit of difference…
To quote Curvaceous above, “Yikes!”.
4 Tom Allen // May 30, 2008 at 8:45 am
Don’t want to come off as all Pervey+Forward and
explicit,
Good thing, huh? ‘cos, you know, that might be a turn-off to some people.
Tom Allens last blog post..Weirded out
5 Jay // May 30, 2008 at 10:19 am
Wow, freaking fantastic. I just read it aloud to Elyn, but it’s hard to get all the grammatical errors, wacky capitalization, and major misspellings across. I guess she’ll have to read it herself.
Thank you so much for sharing that story! I’m going to be laughing about it all day.
6 mnwhr // May 30, 2008 at 10:57 am
This guy should be nuetered to be sure he doesn’t get a chance to spread his seed.
mnwhrs last blog post..The Wisdom of Animals
7 Celia // May 30, 2008 at 3:09 pm
That’s a joke, right? Seriously?
Now that I’ve picked my jaw up off the floor… wow. Still speechless. And he basically told you he was small. If he’s going that far to describe his, erm, attributes… he should at least measure and give you an exact idea as to what he’s working with. Ya know? I mean, why hide behind vague references at that point?
And it’s CARAMEL, idiot. I can get behind some of your other slang, but caremel is not slang, it’s what happens when you don’t use spell check.
*ahem*
Done being a beyotch now, promise. ;)
Celias last blog post..Adventures in Stupidland: NKOTB
8 Wendy // May 30, 2008 at 3:29 pm
@Katie – Hello! I’m glad you came out of the wood work to comment, even if it is on this idiot.
You know, if he had actually sent me a rap, or a bunch of rhyming couplets, I’d have been impressed. But alas, I’m not that lucky, lol.
@Tom – You know, Pervy and Forward are great just… not at the train station, or in a first email. Say hello first. Ask where I got my cake. Something before you give me a bad description of my dick.
@Jay – Lol, I’m glad you enjoyed. I’ve been laughing since I got it. >.<
@mnwhr – Ah, if only we could….if only…
@Celia – I’m just glad he didn’t send a photo. I’m half debating responding to him with a ‘FAIL’ macro and a list of whats wrong with that email.
I’m always amazed at the lack of spell check use. I mean, aren’t you attempting to impress me? Why not just click the teeny little button? Maybe, just maybe, a girl is impressed by, you know, not being an idiot.
Beyotch away my dear. He’s earned it!
9 Bad Bad Girl // May 31, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Oh- No….. No no no. He did NOT do that!!!
I laughed- a lot.
Epic Fail. Oh yeah!!
Bad Bad Girls last blog post..They don’t make sex in a pill.
10 veeegan // Jun 1, 2008 at 5:55 pm
id make you shake like a car
on bad gas if youd let me:) :)
My favorite line ever!! I’m going to start using that one.
My OCD is kicking in and I can feel myself feeling faint after having read so many typos and blatant mispellings.
11 Essin' Em // Jun 1, 2008 at 10:27 pm
Oh.
My.
God.
All the spelling and grammatical errors aside, and the fact that he assumed you were straight, bi and lesbian all at once…
What the hell is a “c-spot”????
12 Wendy // Jun 1, 2008 at 10:58 pm
What I love is that he put girlfriend in quotations, as if it needed some sort of qualifier, or was in some way less than a boyfriend.
As for c-spot? Maybe he meant the clit? God, I don’t know, all I know is he ain’t gonna get the chance to tell me.
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